Can't sleep.

I went to bed 3 hours ago, and I was feeling tired then, but by the time I brushed my teeth and got to thinking, it just wasn't happening. I read my magazine for a while, and then started pulling books off the window sill next to the bed. Then I decided it was time to at least try and I turned off the light... but I couldn't stay still or keep my eyes closed. My stomach is also all upset.

It's finals week and I'm just stressed. We have our major presentation of our group project for BUS700, the capstone course, tomorrow evening. I'm doing the middle 10 of the 30 minute presentation, but I'm not nervous about that. We all put a lot of work into the project and we did a really good job. It's that after that I have two more final papers due, both on Wednesday the 6th. I'm taking Friday off and then jumping back in, two days for each of them. I think they'll get done but Glen and I really will just have to be typing for four days straight and I'm not looking forward to it. Plus, lately I just haven't been able to sit down and work for that long. I feel kind of like a wimp, but at the same time I guess it's not really anyone's bag to type for 16 hours straight four days in a row.

I think I read or heard "bag" used in that way today and so it just kind of popped out. I sound like a senior citizen, but I can't think of a better term there.

Then, after business school is over, med school looms. I am so very freaked out to return to the clinic. I knew I would feel less familiar with all of the scientific stuff, but I can also read up on that stuff pretty easily. I didn't expect to completely forget how to do an H&P (history and physical exam). It's seriously an art and I don't even know where to begin it. I'm not sure where I can look this information up in a concise place. Luckily though, I am heading back into Psychiatry which is so different from every other rotation that I probably wouldn't have felt prepared for it no matter what. Maybe it will all come back to me once I get back into the hospital. Maybe.

And between now and then there are SO MANY things I need and want to do. Like clean out our house. There's the topical wedding mess upstairs, but there is also the deep, established mess that is the back room. It's hard to remember that we actually used that space as an office first year and did all of our studying there. And it's harder to believe that we let that mess keep us from using our desks for TWO YEARS now. We're going to get some self-storage space, do some shopping at the Container Store, and not be shy to make use of the garbage bags and dig ourselves out. That is going to eat up a couple of days of my 12 day vacation.

Then, the Name Change. I mentioned it a month ago but haven't actually started to pursue it. I having doubts about whether it will be worth it. Can't I just have everyone call me Mrs. Quigley regardless of what I do legally? It's just that, still being in school, I am going to have to alert the registrar and they are going to have to try to get that information out to the several hospitals and innumerable preceptors I am going to work with this year. Another girl I knew who had gotten married during med school had two names on her two name tags -- the school would reprint one but not the other. And, Jefferson won't issue new email addresses. They change your name in the directory so if someone is looking you up they can find you, but if someone assumes because they know your first and last name that they know your email address... nope. If I go through with it, I have to leave at least a full day for tackling that mess.

I also MUST write out my thank you notes before we go back to school or I know they won't get done. I don't even have thank you notes yet. I had dreams that I could work on these while camping or at the beach, but those dreams are fading fast. There aren't enough days to go anywhere.

Oh, and we've had an additional fun bump in the road. The loan company that a lot of Jefferson students use (including me and Glen) is being hit by the bad economy and doesn't have enough money to pay out to schools. Can you believe that? So we haven't gotten our refund checks yet that usually come at the beginning of July. Well, actually Glen already got issued part of his refund so Jefferson sent him an urgent email asking him to cancel his loan with this company and get a new loan because Jeff is having trouble covering the checks they sent out! It's a huge mess. I should have expected given the amount of debt I'm in for this whole lending crisis to touch me somehow. (Just to clarify, everything is going to be fine I think, we just have to do a bunch more paperwork.)

Well I'm hoping that 35 minute rant will have gotten some of my worries off my chest and maybe let me start to feel tired. I have to get up in 4 1/2 hours and I have a big presentation to do tomorrow!